If you were thinking I fell off the face of the earth, well, I sort of did intentionally. There's been a lot going on, personally, in my family with my boys and my health. Work has been busy on the accounting end as tax season just finished up. And, I began almost 5 weeks ago facilitating a grief support group. It's just a lot!
Through this past month or so since I've written, so much has happened as I gave a glimpse above. Some of the nitty gritty, just trust me has been exhausting and wearing on my physical, emotional and spiritual life. But in the moments of grief and anguish, I continually am given rays of joy and hope, like the publishing of my second book at a time where I felt myself sinking.
My treatments have been unpleasant to say it as nicely as I can and they have drained the life out of me at times. The cancer is not moving one way or the other and that means we stay the course and, well, of course, that has played with my thoughts and feelings of my journey at this place and this time. And I find myself grieving a time when I felt whole, physically, and when things were more clear and assured.
Then I stop and think, when really is there that time?
We tend to live our lives like we are on a never-ending roller coaster, inhaling the thrill of the moment and losing it when we come to a complete stop. One minute we are up on top and the next we are whirling every which way just trying to keep our heads in line with our reality.
In truth, our lives are filled with moments of grief on our journeys. We can choose to allow ourselves to learn and grow from them or live a life stunted by them. Grief comes in all shapes, sizes and colors. No two times of grief are the same. No two people grieve the same, even if the situation or person is the same. And that can be disconcerting and frustrating when we want answers right now!
Read this next sentence slowly....Grief of any kind is in all circumstances a journey in and of itself!
So how do we deal with our grief over cancer, death, separations, loss of friendships, spouses, jobs, lifestyles, etc.?
We need to come to realize that as we journey through our grief, whatever it may be, God is calling us into a new path on our journey. He is calling us to trust His presence along that pathway. He is offering us an opportunity to grow and be a light to others along the way who encounter the same types of grief as we have. He wants us to heal as He offers us comfort and peace in ways we could not even imagine. He wants us to know He will send us who and what we need just when we need it. And He wants most of all for us to feel how very much we are loved by Him, and by others He continually puts in our path.
You need to journey through your grief to reach that place of healing you so long for. It's okay to mourn those things and people you have lost. It was in the Beatitudes that Jesus said, "Blessed are those that mourn, for they WILL BE comforted." Friends, it's not okay to have a skewed perspective on any of it. So, know this...You are loved. You are surrounded by those who will walk alongside you and comfort you and help you keep a healthy perspective on things. Don't let grief take the life out of your heart and soul.
"You who mourn reach out,
For you will be blessed in grief,
By love and comfort."